Whatever!

Today is January 22. Time goes by too quickly to even think about and sometimes I just wish it would slow down. I know that it's not possible but I'd still like for it to not fly by!

Christmas has passed us and then New Years (which by the way...we stayed home and just hung out). Now I see Valentines stuff everywhere I look oh and Easter stuff too. We are a society that lives holiday to holiday. Consumers that do nothing but consume. I find myself going holiday to holiday as well. Not necessarily consuming but it's my calendar. The kids had Christmas break (or Winter break if you're in a liberal state like mine!). Then we had MLK day and therefore no school on Monday. We'll have Presidents Day in Feb. and they won't have school that day either. Eventually it will be Easter Break (or spring break). And finally summer vacation. We'll then start the process over with Labor day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc... Holiday to Holiday and back again. So I say...whatever. =)

I haven't been blogging. I haven't been doing much of anything actually. I'm working, doing school work, trying to clean my house, taking care of kids, doing more school work (both mine and helping them with theirs), cooking, Church, Bible study group, fitting in a shower somewhere in there, more cooking, more cleaning, more schoolwork, work some more... You get my point. Things just get busy. Life gets busy. There are days when I'm so run down and tired that 7:30 looks pretty good for going to bed! I know...7:30pm! but seriously, I'm tired.
So because of that tiredness...and lack of energy and what seems like a million other symptoms...I made and appointment for me to see a doctor. It's funny that we as mom's tend to do EVERYTHING for our kids and forget ourselves. My kids have been to the doctor, the dentist and they get exercise...but I haven't been to the doctor in over a year, the dentist in...well... lets just say it was in the 90's! and I haven't seen a gym in 2 years. I justify myself by saying...I walk up and down the stairs multiple times a day, chase the kids, work and just basically do everything else so...why go to the gym?
Bottom line is this...
2 years ago I felt that something was off with me. I went to my OB and she did some blood work...she said that since I had just had Annabelle within that year that my body was just adjusting. The blood work came back normal. You'd think I'd be relieved but I was just more frustrated. I know my body....I know when it's not at 100% but the tests are telling me I'm wrong. So...I let it go.
About a year ago it started again but we were in the process of moving and my DR. chalked it up to the stress of moving. Whatever.
Now...it's so bad that I can't function. What you might ask? What am I feeling? A lot but let me just tell you briefly because I'm sure you don't want to know it all. I am light headed and dizzy almost daily. I am lethargic and completely exhausted (yes I know I have 4 kids and a husband that works alot but that's not the cause), I have severe and I do mean severe back pain on my left side. So bad that there are days when I can't get off the couch or move because it hurts to walk. Steve, bless his heart, will offer to rub my back but it's not the back muscles that hurt...it's internal. If you've ever been kicked in the kidney's or had a kidney infection then you can imagine my pain.
So...I went to the doctor. Told her everything I just mentioned plus more. She ordered blood tests and an Ultrasound. I'm waiting and waiting and waiting. I received a referral to an OB and I went and saw her. I sat there for 20 minutes trying to tell her that there is something wrong. She told me it was hormonal. That I am stressed from moving here. That the "pill" is the answer to all of my symptoms. I told her that it was more than that....I felt that I had a cyst on one side and possibly fibroid's. She examined me and said she didn't feel anything and that I was fine. She once again pushed the "pill". I sat there getting more and more discouraged. I am tired of doctors treating me as if I am a child and have no idea what I am feeling. It's my body. I've birthed 4 kids for goodness sake! I know when something is not right.
She just talked at me...not listening.... finally the nurse came in and brought her the results of my ultrasound (they had to call to get it because no one sent it over...) She looks at the results and says....Oh...you were right. You do have a cyst and fibroid's. **sigh** It's about freakin time!
Her answer to the fibroid.... the "pill". **ARGHHHHH**

I'm seriously frustrated, discouraged and disappointed. The blood work never was sent over to her office so she has no idea what that result is but I'm telling you...something is not right.

I was sharing this with one of the ladies in my Bible Study group because I've just been so down lately...she said that she experienced the same thing but ended up having to seek a second opinion because the OB she say just brushed her off (like me). She pushed and ended up finding out that her fibroid was taking so much of her blood that she was anemic and that her body was taking blood (or whatever) from her bone marrow. If she hadn't pushed for them to run more blood tests who knows what would've happened.

I have another appointment with the Primary doctor next week...so we'll see how that goes. But it's just frustrating.

I know that doctors hear the same thing over and over from many patients...but that is no reason to treat everyone the same. I am not the same as the patient in the next room...so don't treat me like I'm an idiot. **sigh**

Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest. Steve was saying goodbye to me this morning and he hugged me and said..."Don't be in a funk today"...You know why I'm in a funk? That STUPID "pill"!!!! I agreed to take it for 3 months so that she can see if that helps (it won't in my opinion). Then I will have another ultrasound to see if anything changes. So in the mean time...I get to deal with the horrible hormonal crap that the "pill" does to me...and my poor husband gets to deal with it too! I'm really having to make a point to not be irritable with the kids...I hate the "pill" because of the way it makes me feel. So...if you see me within the next 3 months... just love me despite my hormonal ugliness ok?!?! =)

So pray for me. And Steve! =)

I'm going to try to blog more. I just have little motivation right now...Any suggestions from anyone?